We hear in the news often how a family of a victim forgave the offender. To some, it seems unfathomable, but what’s important is to dig deep to define what forgiveness really is and who it is for.
Forgiveness is not letting people off the hook for what they did and certainly not giving permission for recurrence. It’s not even the same as reconciling or forgetting. It’s more about letting go in favor of peace. It may not change the past, but it can change your future.
I had one particular person in my life in which it seemed impossible to forgive his horrible acts. I started to realize after so many years that my feelings became more mechanical than anything. I was “supposed to feel” the hate and anger. But I just didn’t anymore. I actually had more empty feelings and felt more sorry for him than anything. So I finally chose to let it go.
In the end, forgiveness simply felt and still feels so much better. It’s like a big weight was lifted off my shoulders and I have more sense of peace and calm than the destructive feelings of anger and hate.
“Resentment is like drinking poison
and hoping the other person gets poisoned.”
I encourage to practice forgiveness to others but especially to ourselves. Too often we punish ourselves by beating us up for our own transgressions and disappointments.
Studies have even proven that when we forgive ourselves, we go into a state of peace and calm, leaving us better equipped and motivated to succeed next time around. And I can second that with my own experience!
“Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free and…realizing you were the prisoner.”
So forgive and just talk nicer to yourself.
We say things to ourselves that we would NEVER say to anyone else. For example, would you ever tell someone else, “You’re so stupid and weak for giving in to those cookies” No, you would never say that to anyone.
So why would we say this to ourselves?
Unfortunately, we say things like this all the time to ourselves. We need to train ourselves to first forgive and then speak in positive terms.
So if we were tempted by that plate of cookies, the WRONG thing to think/say is “I do NOT want those cookies.” Your brain only picks up that part about wanting the cookies. It does not distinguish between what it should have or not.
What works is to focus on something completely different. Say “I choose to eat food that is nutritious and makes me feel good.”
Or just say “that bowl of fruit sounds so delicious to me.”
It sounds silly but your body listens and it really works.
Another example is with excess weight. We should never say out loud or to ourselves that we “need to lose weight.” You may notice that I use the term “release” weight as opposed to “lose” weight.
Why?
Because “losing” weight implies that you will eventually find it! Which is exactly what we don’t want to happen. To “release” weight implies that it’s gone for good. Which way would you rather have any excess weight be directed?
Dr. Mark Hyman says that “Every cell in your body is constantly listening to your thoughts.”
This means that those thoughts can either stress or relax the body. And we know that stress (or a body in the sympathetic fight or flight state) leads to inflammation, which is the root cause of all disease.
We also know that the body performs best in the parasympathetic state, or the relaxed state.
So, bottom line, for optimal health and to help bring your body back to balance and to stay in the parasympathetic state, talk nicer! Forgive and talk positive so your body can perform the way it was meant to:).
To find out what I eat to stay at my optimal weight and feel energized, check out my personal shopping list and guide to help you get on your way to a more balanced body.
All material in this newsletter is provided for information only and may not be construed as medical advice or instruction. No action or inaction should be taken based solely on the contents of this publication;instead readers should consult appropriate health professionals on any matter relating to their health and well-being. The information provided has not been approved the Food & Drug Administration and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any illness or disease.
