“I have not failed 700 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 700 ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work.”
“Many of life’s failures are experienced by people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
-Thomas Edison
“I never lose. I either win or I learn.”
-Unknown
As you can see, most successful people do not see life in terms of failures and successes, but rather in terms of successes and feedback. Anything that is not success is evaluated for what can be learned and those learnings are incorporated into the next attempt.
This is exactly what I am learning in NLP (Neurolinguistic programming). There is no such thing as failure – only feedback.
This is a type of reframe that is key in changing our behavior.
Our minds listen to the language we use and then our bodies even react as well.
Think about how your body might react to “feedback” as opposed to “failure.”
Feedback tends to lead to more curiosity where we may be more open to different solutions. We are more open and contracted.
However, failure is such a negative, concrete and closed type of word. You can just feel the tightening or constriction of the body just thinking about the word.
When the body is tighter and more constricted, it is thrown into the sympathetic state, or the state of stress being fight or flight. Things are not able to flow freely and can make us feel stuck. It also makes us feel uncomfortable and can lead to less focus and making poor decisions.
This can also lead to or exacerbate health issues as the body cannot operate as it should when it is under this constant stress.
On the other hand, when the body is more relaxed, or the in parasympathetic state, it is more open and receptive and much more capable of being clearer and able to thrive.
So, for example, if you happen to get on that scale and it is a few pounds higher than expected, do not beat yourself up and tell yourself you’re failing.
Reframe it.
And before reframing this, always forgive yourself first. This will automatically bring your body a little more peace and calm so you are not in a state of stress.
Then, reframe that this is just useful feedback. The result you had of higher numbers on the scale was feedback of something that you did. And that’s Ok. Recognizing the cause is the first step.
“Duh, Jill. I was eating too many chips late at night when I was having a glass of wine.”
Ok, so you have definitely identified the cause.
Perhaps you need to then dig deeper and ask yourself why you ate the chips with your glass of wine. Were you really that hungry after dinner or were you just bored or was it even a habit that you’ve established after doing it for the past few weeks?
Think back to what drove you there in the first place. Did you just have a bad day or felt a little down and felt like those salty crunchy chips somehow made you feel better?
Then, perhaps it continued over the next few nights and then your brain started signaling you to do that same familiar behavior because it seemed to make you feel better the first few times…
Well, now we know that this somewhat caused a habit in your brain. Now, we need to interrupt that thought and do something different.
If you were sipping your wine and eating the chips in front of the TV, perhaps you can first make a simple rule that you never eat food while watching TV.
Eating should really only be done in the kitchen or dining room. This way, your subconscious brain associates only those rooms with food and eating. We don’t want our brains to associate our family rooms or TV rooms as a place to eat because we tend to eat much more and mindlessly in front of a TV.
Then, we can perhaps do something with our hands as a distraction as well. I like to “Wordle” while I watch TV. It’s like a word puzzle app on my phone. It’s just engaging enough to keep my hands and brain busy, but not too busy to still catch whatever we may be watching.
Maybe knitting or something else may work for you.
The point is that reframing is the start of planting that positive seed in your subconscious to help you more rationally think of better solutions to the problem.
And you have the control to create better thoughts that will then create better solutions and habits:).
For the next 3 days, I will be at the live training portion of the Life Coaching and Success Coaching program. I look forward to continue to share what I learn so it can help you achieve your health goals.
And…if you’re curious how I reframed my subconscious to only desire healthy food, I started by eating certain foods using key principles that I share in my FREE shopping list. See what I eat to stay to my optimal weight and feel energized.
“It is our choices that show what we truly are far more than our abilities.”
Live well and love more,
Jill Gordon
CHHC, HHC, CNHP, Digestive Health Specialist
www.JilltheHealthCoach.com
All material in this newsletter is provided for information only and may not be construed as medical advice or instruction. No action or inaction should be taken based solely on the contents of this publication. Instead, readers should consult appropriate health professionals on any matter relating to their health and well-being. The information provided has not been approved the Food & Drug Administration and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any illness or disease.
